"Mom, you know how you like to look nice for Daddy when he comes home?" Sissy says to me one day.
"Well, Baby and I wondered if we could do your hair and makeup for you to make you beautiful. PLEASE?!?"
Giving in to my vanity and the thought of a wonderful spa day, I agreed. After all, they promised to make me beautiful. I was willing to give it a try. Nothing else had worked to this point.
I had only one condition. They were not to use any mascara. I like not being blind. I found some old makeup and they went to town
As visions of my stunning beauty ran though my head, I felt something on my neck. I opened my eyes to the Boy grinning like the Cheshire cat, holding a tube of lipstick. He had taken it and slashed my neck. (He's such a boy!) Obviously he had no idea how to put on makeup. I instructed him that lipstick goes on the lips, not on the neck. He acknowledged my wisdom and proceeded to to put it on my lips...errr....mouth......area. I made the mistake of breathing and got a huge chunk of lipstick on my front teeth.
Not wanting to reveal my beautifully perfect face with a huge chunk of lipstick in my teeth, I asked for a mirror so I could see to clean it off. I should have known something was up when all three kids began to laugh hysterically as I reached for the mirror.
Funny thing is, I never felt the Mack truck hit me. But all the obvious bruising tells me it did.
Lessons learned from this experience?
1. Lipstick goes on lips, not necks
2. I look quite good for being just hit by a truck
3. It takes washing your face 4 times WITH SOAP to remove navy blue eye shadow from your face and neck.
4. Homeschool "spa day" is not quite as relaxing or beautifying as one might be tempted to think.