Sadness

 I've been dealing with a bit of depression lately. I've always been one to give everything in relationships. Whether it's a friendship or something more, I give my all. And it's really hard when I come to the realization that I care more about the relationship than the other person does. It hurts. A lot. As I've gotten older I've been learning to let those relationships go. It still hurts but I deserve to be surrounded by people that actually want to be with me and are willing to show it by their actions. This really sucks. Still struggling.

Do any of you struggle with this? Do you have someone that just dropped off the face of the earth, no longer contacts you, is pulling away, or just doesn't respond the way you need them to? A friend or a spouse? New relationship? Or someone you thought you were close with.

The Homestead

 After 18 years in our last home, we were somewhat forced to move to another farm. Many years of abuse by Mr Famer's parents led us to this hard life decision. I won't go into details but will say that we tried everything we could to fix things before deciding to cut them out of our lives for good. This gut-wrenching choice has been a necessary one, but it has also been the start of a new adventure.

THE HOUSE

Our new farm is out away from people. The house was built in 1900 and still sits on its original stone foundation. Over the years, owners have tried to fix the cracks and missing mortar. Sought to seal out the cold winter and mice and insects. I'm sure we will follow suit {we've already started}. The house has long since lost any beautiful woodwork it may have had. Many walls were stripped of their lath and plaster and replaced with drywall. The lath was saved and stored out in the barn. I discovered it and have recently used it in a project I will show you in the near future.

THE BARN

10 years after the home was built, a new barn was constructed. Also partially still on a stone foundation, it was put together with wooden pegs instead of screws and plates. The nails that hold on the board and batten siding are square head nails. The timbers are old but in fantastic condition... mostly. It has been allowed to fall into disrepair for so long that it is not savable. I hope to use some of its parts for new projects. It's a way I can keep it alive awhile longer.

THE MILK HOUSE

This little cutie is where we feed the dog and cats and store some of my antiques until I can find a place for them inside my much smaller home. It is insulated. A groundhog made a home in here a few years ago and destroyed the wood floor that was in it. It's now home to many, many wasp nests. I hope to remove all of them this winter when no one is active to sting me.

THE NEW SHOP 

One of the first things we had to do was build a shop. We moved from a place with five outbuildings and a 2 car garage, to a farm with very little storage or work area. It's 56x72, with 16ft side walls.

THE HOG SHED

Up on the hill, on the other side of the new shop, is an old hog barn. It's falling down. We are hoping to cut off the part that is falling and save the part that is still upright. For now, we use it for storage.

THE HAY FIELD AND VIEWS

Most of the land is a hay field. The neighbor puts up the hay which keeps it mowed up and nice. We mow a path around the perimeter as a walking path. We also mow a path through our small grove of trees. The trees shelter an overgrown mass of wild black raspberries. The views from up by the hog barn are beautiful. The hill looks off over hundreds of acres of wetlands, timber, and hunting ground. The colors this fall were stunning.

Return of the Prodigal Woman

 It has been a number of years since I last wrote and posted to this blog. My family has gone through many changes in those years. I hope to share some of those in the coming months. If you read through my past posts, you'll notice a change in tone and content. I'm entering into another phase of adulthood. My children are grown and {mostly} out of the home. We have recently moved and our goals are different now. We seek to slow down. To downsize. To relax and enjoy life.

But don't worry. That does not mean I am finished doing projects. Or goofing off. Or being sarcastic. I'm still me. :]

Don't Mess With The Boy's Food, President Trump!

I don't put political stuff on my blog for several reasons. The main reason is that I'm fragile and don't want people to say mean things to me. Another reason is that there just isn't anything good to say about politics most of the time, regardless of which side of the isle you stand.

But I'm breaking my silence today. This time it effects my son.

The Boy was eating breakfast and listening to the morning news I was watching. The story came on about Trump building the wall between the U.S. and Mexico. He perked up and listened intently to get the facts. Once the story ended, he declared the wall to be a terrible idea.

I was curious as to his reasoning and so I asked him. He tells me that if we build a wall between us we won't have Mexican food anymore and he really likes Mexican food. And, being mom of the year that I am, I don't correct him. I just listen as he talks on. Then he asks me, "Mom, can you drive to China in a car?"

"No, you can't drive to China. There's an ocean between us."

"Good," he says. "I wouldn't want them to build a wall and keep us from having Chinese food. I love Chinese food!"

And there you have it. My boy takes a stand on politics. Don't mess with the Boy's food, President Trump!

On a related note- the boy and food- here is another snippet.

Last fall the kids decided they wanted to go to public school. That's a story for another day. However, one of those first days I went up with him to the library. We were waiting on Sissy to finish a project so he went and got a magazine to look through. He sat down with it for a second, flipping the pages. Then he jumps up and rushes over to me. "Mom! This magazine has food in it!"

"Well, yes, it's a cooking magazine."

"But you don't understand. There is food on every page! This is the most awesome magazine ever!!"

And there you have it. If you understand my boy's love for food, you understand him completely.

A Christmas Present???

I looked out the window today and saw Daisy building a snowman. What? Daisy is our dog. What is she doing out there? I saw her pushing snow up into a pile. A rather big pile. 

Her black face was almost completely white as she was using her nose to push the snow around. The pile got to be pretty tall. it was taller than the top of my muck boots.

I thought at first that it was her raccoon. She has been carrying a dead raccoon around, playing with it.

I decide to go out, with my camera, for a better look. As I stepped off the porch, I could see it was not the raccoon since it was laying in the yard.

I asked her what she had. Ohhhhh, she was excited! I walked over to her pile while she circled me. I took my boot and cleared a bit of snow from the pile. Then, I saw it. An orange leg. It was a dead cat she got from the ditch. Yuck! We have more dead animals and animal parts in our yard, driveway, and porch.

I guess if the kids aren't going to be out playing with her, she'll entertain herself! I kept asking her what she had. She usually likes to show off her finds.

But then I said it was a kitty. She hung her head because she knows not to mess with our kitties. The more I asked, "What did you do, Daisy?", the more her eyes narrowed.

I guess it's just too cold to bury anything so she'll just hide it in a pile of snow!

Christmas Lights

As promised, here are some pictures of our lights at night.

 This next one is our old iron tractor wheel. These lights lasted all of one night before half of them went out. They were new, too!

These next pics are of a little cabin front I built a few years ago. I built it wonky and thought it would only last a year at most. Well, it's still up. I love decorating it for the different seasons and holidays.

And that's all of them. I hope you all are enjoying your holiday festivities!

Do You See What I See?

Yes, it's another post from me!! It's been quite awhile. I'm not even sure anyone is still out there to notice I'm alive and kicking.

It's been unseasonably warm this year. I was out putting up some outdoor Christmas decorations and found these little guys just soaking up the sun.

A lot has happened since I last posted. This is one of our latest additions to the farm. I saw it at a farm on our way to an auction a few weeks back. On our way home, we stopped and left a note with my number on it. The note just told the owner we were interested in buying the truck if they were interested in selling it. Long story short, they just gave it to us! Mr. Farmer went the next weekend and picked it up. There's not much left to it- no front axle, not much of an interior, etc.- but I love the look of it. Based on the design, we think it's somewhere between a 1949 and 1951 GMC dually farm truck. This is it the morning after we brought it home.

This is it with its Christmas wreath.

Here are a few more outdoor decorations. The lights aren't very visible. Maybe I can get out there to take some pics when the sun goes down. 

Well, I'd better save some things for another post!